First of her Name | Mother of Affordable Fashion | Breaker of Trends | Queen of Cupcake Dresses
IMG_6802.JPG

Main Blog relationship tips stories

I’m a collector of experiences and colorful stories created by friends and myself. I enjoy sharing those relationship stories for growth, self-awareness and to show others that we are all the same with certain uniqueness.

Don't be that girl!

​Don’t be that girl

public.jpeg

Everyone has that one girlfriend or at least knows of a girl that spoon-feeds her relationship to the masses. She’s overzealous about posting and broadcasting news of every guy she dates on social media. Pictures galore, showered with cutesy daily posts on how much fun they're having. The satisfaction of having people chiming in sending congrats messages is the confirmation needed for "That Girl.” The relationship status is euphoria and constant high for these types of “Girls”. I emphasize"Girl" because they behave like adolescent school girls crushing on a guy.

The budding of a new relationship or the possibilities of an endless love will cause some women to become overanxious. They regularly share the news of their relationship with friends or anyone that asks, "how is everything going?" They can't wait to spill the beans about their “soulmate.” The only thing is that this quote unquote soulmate happens to be about the tenth potential soulmate most friends meet in five years. We can say these girls are hopeless romantics who keep putting themselves out there. Or, I would rather say that they are "That Girl" who places all of their energy and time into relationships with men for constant admiration from friends/family. Instead of working on personal growth — developing and maturing — “That Girl” becomes obsessed in “finding The One.”

IMG_6353.JPG

When talking with "That Girl",the entire conversation is plagued by her relationship with beau. She will go through the laundry list on why this is “The One", and never forget to mention that he is so different from the other guys she dated. But of course… it's not like women would date the same type of guys. (Insert sarcasm) Why? Because we are all guilty of dating repeat offenders. “That Girl” enjoys sharing her relationship with everyone, and they truly can't help themselves because the need for validation is higher than their self-esteem. "That Girl" loves to go overboard in her relationship and I believe it's done for two reasons. The first reason is to show people around her that she's in a happy relationship. The second is to prove to the guy she dates that she's the perfect one for him.

The typical social media posts are always about "me and my boo" and they are now on Pinterest pinning wedding inspiration. I can speak on this because I was once "That Girl", but not to the full extent of posting my relationships on social media. I put the wagon before the horse in several past relationships. I knew exactly where we should get married, the name of our children, what neighborhood we would live in, down to the song we would have our first dance to at the wedding. Yes, I know… totally "That Girl" behavior.

IMG_6354.JPG

Bianca from "Doing Too Much" post is a lovely person but falls under the "That Girl" category. She loved announcing her five-year relationship on social media, even though he would not allow her to post about their personal status. She once even had the idea of proposing to him. I'm all for girl power, but some things should be kept traditional. She decided if the boyfriend did not propose by the end of the year, then she would propose to him. Bianca even purchased the ring to propose. I know… nails on the chalkboard. Her friends pleaded with her to rethink this idea and in the end, Bianca did not propose, which was good. However, by doing too much, as discussed in earlier post, she fell under the spell of being "That Girl."  In the end, he broke up with her to relocate to another state and is now engaged.

Sandra, discussed in the "Doing Too Much" post is plagued by being "That Girl." Sandra has deep-rooted insecurities, causing her to make awful decisions. Every relationship Sandra was in was displayed all over Facebook. She craved the attention of her peers and random people commenting about the relationship. Because each connection was a quick crash, it resulted in her frequently changing her Facebook profile. Side note: if you're married or been in a long committed relationship… I don't advise using profile pictures with significant other.

IMG_6351.JPG

Sandra has an ex-boyfriend who lives out of town, and while they dated,she would drive hours just to be with him, even though her son would be displaced going on these random drives. Sometimes, Sandra would get a babysitter so she could go out of town to spend time with her beau. If the ex-boyfriend was equally committed to the relationship, he would have taken the time to commute back and forth. This was a common theme in all of her past relationships. She would dive off of a cliff if she smelled a man on the bottom who was remotely interested.

In all things, we must have God lead our footsteps. If not, we will be shifted like sheep and led astray. Now that I’m married, I can genuinely reminisce about the absence of God in past relationships. When God is in control, he will allow women to meet the man created for her in due time. Our timetable is not God's timetable. He does not operate on our whelms. If we genuinely place God as the head of our life, He will bring forth more than we can imagine.

Side note: stop being "That Girl." Have an allure of mystery about your relationships until routed on the path of marriage. Some things should be kept sacred and treasured. I believe relationships are the gems to be protected from intruders.