Mommy & Daughter Day At Disney Magic Kingdom

Mommy & Me in Front the Cinderella Castle

When it comes to kids, spending quality is essential to the bond.  The quality time can consist of non-monetary things to do or spending time at the Happiest place on earth.  With our kids, we love giving them individual quality time and connect separately.  Sometimes we will have Mommy & Son time, Daddy & Son, Daddy & Daughter one on one time.  During our family staycation, the girly bear was sick and we weren’t able to see the Disney castle.  I can’t express enough how we love being Disney annual pass members.  As many times a year, we go to one of the Disney parks, spending money on the annual pass is definitely worth it.

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Outfit Details

  • Dress:  Lady Fanatics (No Longer Available)
  • Sneakers:  Puma purchased on Amazon currently $55.99 but at time of sale it was $38.24

When it was time to plan our Mommy & Daughter Day, I reserved the Magic Kingdom “Fast Pass” a week early.  The Fast Pass has a set time slot for each attraction and allows you to reserve three attractions to bypass the extremely long lines.  Since the day was for my girly girl, I reserved two photoshoots with the Disney princesses.  Our first shoot was slated from 11:30-12:30 with Princess Tiana and Rapunzel.  Other than Elsa, Princess Tiana happens to be one of Girly Bear’s favorite Disney Princesses.  We missed taking pictures with Princess Tiana on the Disney cruise and always seem to miss taking pictures during park visits.  Due to minor setbacks as traffic and insanely long lines to enter the park, we arrived inside the Magic Kingdom at 12:18 and wasn’t able to make it for the photoshoot.  Our next Fast Pass was for the Buzz Lightyear simulation ride.  We made it without any problems and the line moved swiftly.  Since it was lunchtime, and I didn’t want to wait in one of those restaurants- it was convenient that Disney has small quick eateries with a simple menu that we could grab food and keep moving.

The last Fast Pass was located in Fantasy Island by the Cinderella Castle.  We had enough time before our reserved slot to go on the Carousel ride.  The Carousel ride normally has a line wrapped around that look like it was a mile long, however; this time we did not experience a long wait.  When the ride was over, it was perfect timing for our last Princess pictures with Cinderella and Princess Elena.  While waiting in line for the photo, I asked the park employee about not being able to use our first Fast Pass to see Princess Tiana and Rapunzel and if the Fast Pass could be used for another attraction.  She told us the next photoshoot was with Princess Tiana and Rapunzel. The kind part employee told me to come back after we were done taking pictures with Cinderella and Princess Elena and she would allow us to go straight over to meet the other Princesses.  Whoopie!!!! I was more than thankful for her act of kindness and understanding.  After girly bear met/took pictures with Cinderella and Princess Elena, we went back to the young lady but she was gone.  I quickly felt a gush of sadness.  I mentioned to the other young lady that was now working at the entrance the conversation with the last employee and she quickly told me that the employee already notified her about our situation.  Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!  The employee used her walkie-talkie to contact the other park employee that we were heading over to take meet the other Princesses.

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Our day was complete!  We were able to visit all the attractions and one by the share kindness of the park employees.  Last stop was the train station choooo chooo.  Bye guys and we’ll see you next time.

Disney Park Do’s and Don’ts

  • Setup Fast Pass at least a week early or earlier (Goes Quick)
  • Anticipate traffic and long lines at the gate (Leave Earlier Than Scheduled Time)
  • Check the weather and dress accordingly
  • COMFORTABLE FOOTWEAR (Sandals are cute & stylish but if they’re not comfortable-you will feel the pain after walking and standing in long lines) Beware!
  • Travel as light as possible (Parents try not to overpack the kid’s bag because it can get heavy toting around or be tied to the stroller) Essentials Only!
  • Kindness is the passport to the heart.  In the famous lines of Cinderella, “Have Courage and Be Kind.”

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Would Your Friends Date You?

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Before we start dating someone, we already have a laundry list of qualities that we want in the significant other. The superficial lists consist of them to be handsome, honest, kind, God-fearing, hardworking, ambitious, physically fit, commutative and not Crazy. We share with our friends and family about the person we want in our life but do we even measure up to our wants and needs. I ask you this, “Would your girlfriend date you if you were a man?”

That question has so much power in it. It openly explores your nature and examines if the very person that you call friend would date you if you were a man. Do the qualities and the way you conduct yourself result in them wanting to be in a committed relationship with you? Our friends, confidants, associates, and people we deem close to us can really share our true core. We tend to put on our best-selling face to people we’re interested in dating. They tend to see our true selves with time and some are just able to grasp early on if someone is putting on.

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Back in my single days, I had a group of lady friends that I enjoyed spending time with. We did practically everything together and our group consisted of different personalities. We had a “no holds bar go-getter friend Amber and a desperately do anything to get a man aka Sandra”…yes Sandra was part of that grouping, the supposedly shy girl (Michelle) the well-rounded guys best friend girl aka ME. Since we spent a lot of time with one another sharing stories and being in our truth, it was easy to see which personalities in your girlfriends you admire in the significant other. I love Ambers ambitious nature to be successful at work and be a full-time mother. She was funny, gregarious, kind, confident, God fearing woman. Secretly I made her my mentor. Sandra, ooofffff…you were introduced to her several blog posts. Sandra did have her faults but at the time was caring, giving and loving. Her need to have a man clouded her judgment into doing very unspeakable things. Lastly, Michelle was the shy wallflower in the group. She was kind, dependable and easy to be around. We had a group dinner and the question was asked by me, “Which one of your friends would you date if you were a man.” Sandra and I both choose Amber because she’s an A-plus person. But, in your group of friends, the same question should be asked. Even how someone behaves as a friend opposed to lover may be a little different but are their core still desirable for you to date or even be with.

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Let’s face the hard truth. Your friends are devoted to you but if they could be openly honest without offense being taken, you would be surprised to what they really think of how you behave in relationships. Are you doing things in your relationships that make your friends cringe? When Sandra finds a new man, she quickly jumps the gun and wants to parade the relationship in front of her peers for approval. But instead of getting to know the other person, she goes straight to behaving like a person that been together for years. She’s doing wife type behavior instead of staying in the friend zone. I was guilty of that myself so I’m not persecuting her. I’m truly making an observation on how we females behave early on in a relationship. By the end of the first date, we’re sharing the entire story with anyone that answers the phone or says Hello. I made sure during the time my husband and I were dating that no one knew about our relationship except one friend. I wanted to savor our relationship without the cheers of others and even people trying to pick it apart. There wasn’t a mountain of pictures or post about us on social media. It was sacred to be and still remains that way. I digress which happens from time to time but I always come back full circle. Because of Sandra’s erratic and desperate behavior, I would hundred percent rule her out as a potential candidate if I was a man looking for Mrs. Right. We have to be careful about this “Looking” that we do. Our Heavenly Father has the appointed time, place and person that is destined to be our other half. Sandra’s behavior also shed light on our friendship. Why would you surround yourself around a group of people when they character would rule them out as a potential mate? It should also rule them out as a friend. We need to start being real and surrounding ourselves around people that truly magnifies our character and what God has in us. We cannot align ourselves with men nor females that doesn’t mirror His image.

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I can truly say I would be a great candidate to date, any one of my female friends if I was a man. But would I want too and which ones will be booted off first. That question is deep and goes through your inner core. And, exposes even unfruitful relationships in your life. I had a friend by the name of Caroline whom I did so many exciting things with. But, deep down…I knew that we were not kindred spirits. I admired her and wanted so much more for her that she wanted for herself. She has the potential to be a mighty woman if she truly removed deep wounded hurts of the past. I had to ask myself the question that I’m asking you. When the answer was revealed, it was truly hard for me to let her go as a friend because I love her and love her still. When you truly love someone, the love will remain even though they may not be the best fit. The nature that I have and the nature that she had would not make a desirable pair. It’s okay, to be honest, and allow God to remove things and people to bring you to where you need to be. Being able to write this blog and share stories of personal challenges experienced and witnessed was done in hopes to disqualify people from doing the not so good antics. The journey may not be easy. But God is our foundation and he is more than able to support us through the good and through the bad times. Look for people in your life that reflects the God in you and you would never have to ask, ” Would your girlfriend date you.”Because you already would know the answer, as Heck Yea!!!!

If Your Friend Exhibits some of these traits & Unwilling to grow, time to rethink Friendship

  • Not willing to acknowledge faults in relationships
  • Speaks poorly of their other friends
  • Always have a falling out with someone over petty things
  • Will do anything for attention
  • Have no code of conduct
  • Every relationship is a crash and burn but never a peaceful separation
  • Have a new bestie every few months
  • Prefers to hear about your shortcomings than success stories
  • Believe men should automatically take care of them
  • Fake spiritual, fake religious, fake churchgoers & contradicting beliefs

What Would Your Ex Say About You?

When a relationship goes astray, we are held with the curious pieces of what happened or I could have done something differently to have a better outcome. The end of a relationship can be a devastating feeling for people that gave their all. We tend to poll our friends and family with the never-ending questions. We seek out any sources that can help us make sense of the whole debacle. Trolling the Internet for magical answers that still keeps us wondering. If we could have done it over, would we change anything? Even though we seek different answers from various places, the only person we really want to seek those types of answers is from the Ex. And, that leads to the question “What would your Ex say about you?”

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That question is a hard-hitting blow to your ego. If we truly seek the answers and would like clarity, depending on how the relationship ended…speaking with the Ex would be the only person that can give you feedback that may or may not help with future relationships. This band-aid removal would be helpful to a lot of people making the same mistakes. I had to have this serious talk with myself. I used to date men that did not want a true commitment. It was frustrating because I worked hard on the relationships. As so I thought, I remember dating Andrew who was a single father. He appeared to be very interested in a relationship with me but things turned for the worst. Andrew had been divorced from his wife for at least five years when we met through a mutual friend. He was a loving devoted father to his son. I admired how caring he was, however, the devotion did not transfer when dealing with me. After a while, Andrew started doing the disappearing act and calling once in a blue moon. I was left confused and polled my friends in efforts to see what I did wrong. The situation lasted for almost a year. I prayed about it and left it at the altar. When I was able to release from the hurt and disappointment, I was able to get over Andrew and stop questioning what I did wrong. About a year went by an Andrew contacted me to have a talk. I decided to meet up with him at Starbucks. When I saw him, I knew I was completely over him…there were no mushy feelings left under the surface. Andrew said, that I was a great woman but his heart was still longing for his ex-wife. He explained that I did nothing wrong in the relationship and that I was a good hearted person that he felt bad for doing wrong. Of course, he wanted a second chance, but God had released me from that pain and I wasn’t willing to sign up for that rerun. I was content in getting closure from a question mark relationship. He was kind enough to go through my attributes and explain how he would love to be in a relationship with a person like me. I was no longer left trying to figure out what went wrong. He had the perfect opportunity to mention all the faults that I contributed in making the relationship not work. Ladies, if you’re bold enough to talk with several different people about your failed relationship, be bold enough to discuss it openly with the person that it didn’t work with. Would that person say…you were needy…annoying…selfish…boastful…rude etc. If your Ex-was speaking to people about past relationships, would he speak glowing of you or negatively.

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If I encountered a former flame, they would not run the other way and dodge cars to get away from me. When I dated Abram, he was polite enough to tell me that the relationship didn’t have any sparks. Oh yes, that immediately hurt my feelings but he did not lead me on in hopes of a relationship. Abram was truly a nice guy with great qualities and most of all…honesty. I went to date Jason who at the time was working on his graduate studies. As you can tell, the relationship did not work out with Jason either. Jason was arrogant but honest. I have a common theme going here, “Honesty.” Jason and I were able to remain quasi-friends. When I dated a non-ranking person, I can be brutally honest too. Jason and I talked about the relationship and I was able to get the information out of him what I may have done wrong in the relationship. He said, “nothing, I was just not ready to be in a committed relationship with anyone. My main objective at the time was finishing school and getting a really good job.” Jason said, “There’s nothing wrong with you.” Of course, I kept thinking it was me and the relationships weren’t working out because of me. But God was helping me with disappointment. God truly knew why the relationships couldn’t work. I was destined to be spiritually connected to someone He designed for me.

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Past relationship can be the key to having better relationships if we can truly face the criticisms that may arise. The best type of medicine sometimes comes from the very person or thing that delivered the pain. “What would your Ex say about you?” Be willing to explore the deeper level of unlocking a key element that may help in developing your inner self.

Seat Filler Relationships

Have you ever watched the grammy’s or any other type of award show? The space is always filled to capacity but the seats are not solely filled with only celebrities. There is a term called seat fillers…these wonderful people randomly attend events and their main duty is to fill the seat to appear crowded. They sometimes hub knob with celebrities due to the close proximity. Seat fillers are not stationary fixtures but merely well placed bodies to create the illusions of having a crowded room. Well ladies and gentlemen, seat fillers serve a place in relationships too.

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In the previous blog post, “Doing Too Much” these ladies and myself included were merely seat fillers. When we’re dating someone that is not our future spouse, we are being a “Seat Filler.” Dating with a purpose when that purpose is marriage should be done like pursuing a job. When we’re interested in a job or promotion, we do our due diligence in acquiring the right skills and selling ourselves for the position. But sometimes, even preparing for the position will not land you the job. We merely chuck it up too, this wasn’t the place for me or not at this time. The same concept can be said about “Seat Fillers.” We enter a relationship in the hopes it will lead into marriage. Some of us will stay in a relationship for years…only to be left with broken pieces.

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Some relationships that pass the four year mark where people would think these individuals are slated to be married can turn out to be break-ups. My good friend Susana dated her former boyfriend for six years. They lived together and was looked as the new age “Ken and Barbie.” But even Ken and Barbie called it quits. When Quinn decided to end the relationship with Susana, I was shocked and hurt along with her. Susana was the quintessential girly girl. Her beautiful exterior was second to her queenly heart. Susana’s parents and friends were all shocked because we foreseen them going to the alter. But God…He is always in control. Even though Susana was in a long committed relationship at the time with Quinn, God knew her true mate was not Quinn. Quinn was merely a seat filler for the love of her life and now husband Ace. God allowed the relationship to go on for years. During that time, Susana was morphing into the woman that God wanted her to be for her husband. He allowed Quinn to be a fixture in Susana’s life to grow her. Yes, the break-up was hard but God made up for it with her husband and beautiful baby girl. God’s plan for our life is better than anything we could imagine.

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My other best girlfriend Mary, high school sweetheart is now her husband. The oooohhhh’s and awwwwww’s can be done later because they did not get married after high school. The story of Mary and Steph took a different path. While they were high school girlfriend and boyfriend, they ended up going their separate ways. Steph was in a long term relationship for years with at the time live-in girlfriend. Mary had ex-boyfriends that were not suited for her. Even though nearly a decade went by of being away passed by them, Mary and Steph after breaking up with past partners were lead back on the road to each other. You see, God always knew they were the ones for one another. But they were not the One at the time. He allowed them to go through different life lessons and seat fillers. Because it all lead back to were He wanted them to be…with each other. It was interesting that Steph was in a long term relationship but after a year of reconciling with Mary…proposed right away. You see…when God is in it…time spent means nothing…His ultimate time is different from ours. When you’re a seat filler, the amount of years spent in a relationship does not warrant marriage. If that was the case, Steph would had proposed to ex-girlfriend. But she was merely a seat filler until his soulmate was sent back to him.

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My husband was one of my closest friends before we were married. He was my confidant and side kick. My friendship with him was always from a level of genuine friends with NO intertwined funniness between us. It was hard for other peers to understand our friendship and they always questioned it. You see, God had His hands on us. If it was revealed before our growth and maturation, we may not have been able to substain a healthy relationship/marriage. Being friends really allowed us to have a solid foundation. Like some couples, their relationship is clouded by a sexual desire for one another. This aspect sometimes clouds other areas of getting to know the person. We could talk on the phone for hours on different topics. We hung out as friends.

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We all have been positioned as seat fillers for someone we once dated that it didn’t work out. And, even though the relationship did not produce marriage. We should learn valuable lessons from each broken relationship. Even the painful relationships can produce fruits or great maturity.

Orlando Blogger Meet-Up w/ Guest Speaker Civilla Morgan

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I’m a member of the Orlando Blogger Meet-Up Group. The group focuses on kind collaboration and creating an atmosphere for people to meet at various locations within the city to network. The Blogger Group also have phenomenal guest speakers that share their passion for various endeavors. The guest host all always knowledgeable, kind, and passionate about their business. It’s incredible to have women sharing information with others without feeling threatened by competition.

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The August 11, 2018 guest speaker was Civilla Morgan.  Civilla discussed being a Blogger and a podcaster.  She was able to provide detailed information on what’s needed to start a podcast and blog.  Her years of experience in the world of Finance shown with how meticulous the flow of information was so well balanced and put together.  Civilla’s soft-spoken and kindness created a warm, inviting space.

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Garp and Fuss is a ultra-cute/stylish/quaint restaurant located on Park Ave.  The restaurant was once called The Bistro.  The new establishment is still nested in what seems to be a secret garden away from the busyness of society.   The warm environment and lovely staff helped to create a comfortable/unforgettable experience.    While we were at the restaurant, true to Florida weather-it began to rain.   Our group was seated in the glass atrium and covered by the underlay of trees hanging.  When the rain poured down like waterfalls on the glass atrium, the sweet sounds played harmonic tones upon the glass roof.  As thunderstorms swirled, I was comforted by the ambiance of the restaurant’s charm.  The restaurant charms do not stop there.  The back room has a pool table along with a television.  The restaurant also features an upstairs loft area with a T.V. to create a separate lounge space.  My overall experience was a joyful one that I hope others will experience at this lovely restaurant.

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Useful Links

Civilla Morgan:  Childlessnotbychoice

Restaurant: Garpandfuss

Outfit Details

Dress: Lilyboutique  Yellow Dress is no longer available.  The white version of this dress is available in selected sizes for $21.00

  • Dress size worn is (Medium) fits true to size.
  • The fabric is thick & of great quality

Wedges: purchased from Gojane is no longer available.  Checkout the other cute wedges on sale.

 

Doing Too Much

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Women are natural caregivers and nurturers. When women over in dose, the response is not well received. This may cause the men to feel too babied and mothered. Babies need to bump their heads to learn awareness. If the man is overly nurtured, it will not create a healthy relationship with their partner.

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Example, Bianca is currently in an off and on relationship with boyfriend of two years. The relationship evolved from a sexual tryst. Bianca’s boyfriend Brian does not want the relationship to become public. And frequently is snappy and abrasive to Bianca when she wants to post pictures of them on social media. She tolerates his behavior hoping things will get better and tends to use the “Oh we been together for years” phrase to justify his non-committal behavior. Ladies, we must not allow ourselves to fall victim to the notion of being in a relationship for years to warrant us to stay in an unhealthy non-prospering going nowhere relationship. Men will milk the situation and feel comfortable in the behavior pattern until the right person comes along and challenges their heartstrings. Yes, only the correct person will move your heart to be challenged to do better in life. When someone truly matters in your life, you will do what’s needed to correct a situation. Bianca has settled on this relationship with Brian because she does not believe she can do better. And, that is also a trick of the mind. If she would put the same amount of value in herself than she does in her relationship, her whole life would change for the better. God can not bless you in a relationship that he did not design for you to be in. We must go through several different wildernesses on this road of life but we must also know when it’s time to pack up and leave or pitch a tent. Too many of us have pitched tents in places that should have been just a passing stop.

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I had a former friend that was the Queen of “Doing Too much.” Every relationship she had since I knew her were filled with her trying to create “The One” out of men that were simply passerby’s. Let’s call her Sandra since all the names have been changed to protect the personal identity. Sandra had an ex-boyfriend that she made into her adult man-child. When she was with Rob, he couldn’t even sneeze without her running to blow his nose. ..figuratively speaking. If Rob mentioned anything, Sandra would be there will bell ringing trying to fulfill his wishes. She even booked a weekend getaway in the cabins for them. Rob was supposed to pay half of the trip but failed too. Why would he, when he had “I would do anything for a man” type of girl? Sandra made all the arrangements and paid for the entire trip even though she did not have the money to pay her upcoming bills. She rather sacrificed a piece of happiness to portray to Rob that she was the girl for him. When Rob would complain about not having money to cover his bills, Sandra was right there to pay his electric bills or whatever else bills that needed to be paid. HHHHHHMMMMM, how was Rob able to pay his bills before he met Sandra? Side note: If a man was able to fund his endeavors before you entered his life, why would he need your funds to maintain his life. Say it loud, “You’re Doing Too Much.” Sandra’s “Doing too Much” state of mind all stemmed from having low self-esteem. Ladies, when you don’t think highly of yourself, you will allow non-sense to become your designer threads. Sandra was such a classic case of a desperate woman that once we were out having lunch with her and Rob. Rob picked up the check for us which was rather nice but Sandra went into her purse and gave him twenty dollars. Puzzled, later that day I asked her why would she do that and especially in front of us. She said, “Oh I know he really didn’t have the money and was just doing it to be nice.” Straight emoji face on that one. Not only did she disrespect his manhood in front of her then girlfriends but it showed him that she wanted to wear the pants in the relationship. Needless to say, that relationship crashed and torched on fire.

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Sandra went on to date Bryce who she met at church and declared once again “He was the One.” She has been scoping Bryce for some time at the church. And finally had the courage to speak to him. When the pleasant conversation was over, Sandra gave Bryce her business card with all the contact numbers/emails to reach her. Yes, I screamed inside too…”Stop waving your red flag of desperation.” Sandra was hurt because Bryce did not contact her during the week and enlisted at the time a good friend of mine who is now my husband to get a male point of view. Corey, Sandra and I were all on a three-way phone call. She explains the situation to Corey and he tried to help her see the male perspective. Corey told her that men are natural hunters and the order of things will always be the more aggressive species. So, if Bryce wanted to get to know you…he would have pursued it. Corey tried to let her down kindly and even gave her a glimmer of hope that things may work out with Bryce. Once the call ended, Corey explained to me that the relationship with Sandra and Bryce will never work. Because men can sense a desperate female and it’s unattractive. Corey said, “Men are natural hunters and females are the Gazelle.” The Gazelle never hunt the wild cats because that’s not the natural order of things. Sandra ended up dating Bryce for a brief stint. She once again fell into “Doing Too Much.” She would pay for his gas and allowed him to use her ePass which is a prepaid device to pay tolls tied with your bank account. Not only did he abuse her ePass, Bryce used it so much that her account was constantly hit with finance charges because she didn’t have the funds in account when the ePass charge came in. This relationship also went downhill and was never ended by her.

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I too fell into the notion of “Doing Too Much.” I once was dating a guy named Justice. I thought if I did a lot of stuff to show I cared which is natural for me, that he would like me too. Justice was selfish and conceited. I once planned this elaborate dinner and purchased a lot of food to cook only for his to cancel last minute. I was totally bummed about it and felt foolish. I spoke to one of my best girlfriends Scotia and she is mighty blunt. I love her for this characteristic. She said, “Why are you doing all this stuff for a man that’s not your boyfriend.” You see, I was doing that…”Pick me Pick me” thing that I lost my perspective and ended up being a tool.

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The lesson of these tales are, stop “Doing Too Much.” Even a shy man would pursue a woman that he finds interesting. We as woman merely have to be patient and allow God to play our matchmaker. God will order your steps as long as you give him permission to be your heavenly ruler.

Orlando Blogger Meet-Up

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The Orlando Blogger Meet-up holds monthly events in different establishments.  June Meet-up was held downtown Orlando at The Industrious Orlando.  Angie Curcio was the guest speaker that discussed tips and tricks on using Facebook live to grow your following and establish a community of raving fans.  Angie is an established holistic health coach that established her brand by using Facebook.

Shop This Look

Logo Tee: shirt $6.90 Charlotte Russe logo design by @ hellomaciana on Instagram

Skirt: Currently Unavailable Charlotte Russe

Wedges: Currently Unavailable Payless

 

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Industrious Orlando office space rental is a chic place to create the perfect work environment.  The floor is modern with a simplistic vibe which will create a great place for meetings, hosting events and focusing on your work.  I personally love the open wide space with large windows for natural light.  It’s an ideal location to have an office in the fast-growing Orlando that overlooks the Doctor Philips Performing Center and Amway Arena.

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In Terms of Relationships, “What Hour Are You?”

“There’s not that much busy in the day”-Scotia Powell
Some people work a traditional 9-5 and some work the night shift. The hours and time of the day vary depending on the individual. People tend to put more emphasis on scheduling what matters to them. As the above quote states, please note everyone availability varies but there is not that much busy in the day.  If you are not running the free world, please pipe down about your busy schedule. Former President Barrack Obama always found time in his schedule for Lady Michelle Obama. Are you the First Lady that receives prime time hours or the mysterious fox that goes in a hole? The 7-9 PM woman is the female that holds the magical time slot.  She will always receive the prime time hours that supersede friends and family. 7-9 PM women are allowed to book dates during prime time scheduling without her mate pitching a fit. Why-Simple, He sees the relationship as a budding fruitful long-lasting commitment that he’s willing to pursue.

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Females tend to be very accommodating when it comes to excuses for their mate’s poor behavior. We will deem their lack of motivation in the relations is due to scheduling and being over exhausted. That is all huff and puff. Have you ever asked someone to do something that was extremely tired but when you mention something is in it for them…they perk up? Females will know what hour they fit in depending on the time men will set aside for them. Before I was married, some of the men that I dated did not deem me as the prime time hour lady.  I had the late night spot of chilling at the house to watch a movie because it was too late to go out or they were exhausted and wanted to stay inside. Ladies, please do not fall for this excuse.  Don’t fall for the excuse that nothing is open at this time “Lies.” You can go bowling, movies, coffee café, skating rink, etc. You will merely have to research which establishments are still open in the evening or take a walk around the park.  Or, simply reschedule.

 

In the case of Bianca, her beau Brian has this arrangement that he made with her regarding time spent.  It’s a bizarre arrangement where Brian will only come over twice a week. This is so weird for a couple that lives in the same city.  However, Bianca tolerates this arrangement even though she would prefer more quality time. Sidebar, ladies pay attention if the person you are dating tends to be less accommodating to your needs or request. If you notice that everything is based on their availability or comfort or whatever it is, please note this as a Flag.  Since Bianca and Brian’s relationship first started off as a sexual tryst, majority of their quality time is spent in a four-walled relationship.  Sidebar, ladies if you want a relationship that blooms into marriage, please be careful of starting a physical relationship with your intended beau to early in the dating stages. They are cases were having a sexual relationship with partner led to something more serious, but we would not want to Russian Revolt our heart, soul, and bodies on this. My husband always said this quote to me when we were merely friends…”Slow and steady wins the race.” Ladies, if the race is for your heart, you should put more stock in the person that you choose to date or even spend time with.

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My male friends had girls sectioned off by time slots.  The woman they were more interested received the coveted time slot from 7-9 PM. The girls that they only wanted a four-walled relationship received the 10-12 AM slot. After that, is the after the club late night time slot of 1-3 AM. That was for the females that knew what time it is and could careless of the other line-ups.  As awful as this may sound, is as truthful as it is. This is a backslapping, stomach kick to your reality.  And, the most coveted days are Friday and Saturday.  Saturday is the 8 PM schedule that network shows will place their best and most watched program.  Friday is considered the 9 PM network schedule.  You see-Saturday is a day that most people have off if they work a traditional Monday-Friday schedule.  Saturday is the day where you have off to do whatever it is but you chose to spend it with your significant other.  And, it speaks volumes when a guy will allow afternoon dates. They have considered the person they are dating as someone special to hone in on their prime time day.  But if a man is giving you the ABC award-winning Saturday 8 PM night slot, he more than values the person he is dating. The evening slot was held for hanging with the fellows.  He impeded on Guy Time to spend it with his lady is a significant strike to his heart.
If you want to know “What hour you are,” pay attention to his scheduling time for you.  And, call during the peak times to see if he answers. If a guy already has plans with the golden girl, he will not answer or text during these peak hours.  He is already out on a date with the special lady. So, be prepared for all the excuses as, “I fell asleep, didn’t see your message or call, I’ve been working out and extremely tired.” Wait for it…but you can come over to chill if you like.  Please stop and look at the hour he wants to relax.  I’m pretty sure he didn’t text or call back during the peak hours.

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While my relationship with husband went from best buds to marriage, he would always give me the prime time hours when he courted me.  We spent so much of our free time together or was on the phone.  And, connected through video calls…regular phone calls is cool but a video call is much better.  He made sure that I knew and felt that I was his special lady.  I never had to question how he felt about me.  Sidebar, a guy that is genuinely interested in furthering the relationship, will never keep you guessing about his intentions.

Don’t Be “That Girl”

Everyone has that one girlfriend or at least know of the girl that spoon feeds her relationship to the masses. She’s overzealous about posting and broadcasting news of every guy she dates on social sites. Pictures galore, showered with cutesy daily posts on how much fun they’re having. The satisfaction of having people chime in sending congrats messages is the confirmation needed for “That Girl.” The relationship status is euphoria and constant high for these types of Girls. I emphasize on “Girl” because they behave like adolescent school girls crushing on a guy.

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The budding of a new relationship or the possibilities of an endless love will cause some females to become over anxious. The news of their relationships constantly shared with friends or anyone that asks, “How is everything going.” They can’t wait to spill the beans about their soulmate. The only thing is that this quote on quote soulmate happens to be about the tenth potential soulmate most friends meet in a five-year span. We can say these girls are hopeless romantics that keep putting themselves out there. Or, I would rather say that they are “That Girl” that puts all their energy and time into relationships with men for constant admiration from friends/family. Instead of working on personal enhancements, Growth coupled with Maturity- “That Girl” becomes obsessed in “Finding The One.”
When you have a conversation with “That Girl.” The entire conversation is plagued on her relationship with Beau. She will go through the laundry list on why this is the “One.” And, don’t forget to mention that he is so different from the other guys she dated.  But of course…it’s Not like women would date the same type of guys. Insert sarcasm…why…because we are all guilty of dating repeat offenders. “That Girl” enjoy sharing the relationship with everyone, and they truly can’t help themselves because the need for validation is higher than their self-esteem.  “That Girl” loves to go overboard in her relationship. I believe it’s done for two reasons. One is to show the people around her she’s in a happy relationship. Two, to prove to the guy she’s the one for him. These girls cannot help themselves when broadcasting their relationships. The typical posts on Facebook are always about “Me and my boo.” They are now saving wedding clippings on Pinterest. I can speak on this because I was once “That Girl.” But not to the full extent of posting my relationships on social media. I pulled the wagon before the horse in several past relationships. I knew exactly where we should get married…the name of our children…what neighborhood we would live in…down to the song we would dance at the wedding. Yes, I know…totally “That Girl” behavior.

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Bianca from “Doing too Much” chapter is a lovely person but falls under “That Girl.” She would love to announce to social media about her relationship of five-plus year.  He would not allow her to post their personal status. She once had the idea of proposing to him. I’m all for girl power, but some things should be kept traditional. She decided if the boyfriend did not propose by the end of the year…she would propose to him. Bianca even purchased the ring to propose. I know…nails on the chalkboard. Her friends pleaded with her to rethink this idea. In the end, Bianca did not propose which was good. However, by doing too much as discussed in earlier part of the book, she fell under the spell of being “That Girl.”  In the end, he broke up with her to relocate to another state and is now engaged.
Sandra, discussed in “Doing too Much” chapter is plagued by being “That Girl.” Sandra has deep-rooted insecurities, and that causes her to make awful decisions. Every relationship Sandra was in, was displayed all over Facebook. She craved the attention of her peers and people commenting about the relationship. Because each connection was a quick crash,  it resulted in her frequently changing her Facebook profile. Side note, if you’re married or been in a long committed relationship…I don’t advise using profile pictures with significant other.  Sandra once has an ex-boyfriend that lived out of town. She would drive hours just to be with him even though her son would be displaced going on these random drives. Sometimes, Sandra would get a babysitter for the son so she could go out of town to spend time with her beau. If the ex-boyfriend were equally committed to the relationship, he would have taken the time to commute back and forth. This was a common theme in all her past relationships. Sandra would dive off a cliff if she smelled a man on the bottom that was remotely interested.

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In all things, we must have God lead our footsteps. If not, we would be shifted like sheep and led astray. Now that I’m married, I can truly reminisce about the absence of God in past relationships. When God is in control, he will allow women to meet the man created for her in due time. Our timetable is not God’s timetable. He does not operate on our whelms. If we genuinely place God as the head of our life, he will bring forth more than we can imagine. Side note, stop being “That Girl.” Have an allure of mystery about your relationships until routed on the path of marriage. Some things should be kept sacred and treasured. I believe relationships are the gems to be protected from intruders.

 

 

 

Dress Puss

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In attempts on putting together a fabulous outfit, one can wear too many trends or wear the wrong outfit for particular events. The term for this is called “Dress Puss.” It was originally used by one of my Uncle’s when describing his wife attire. My Aunt was wearing tons of accessories, a faux fur scarf, busy looking hat, and high heels. Being overdressed for the place my Uncle and her were going, my Uncle looked at her and said, “You look like a Dress Puss.”

The photographed attire is all sorts of being a Dress Puss. Way too many themes taking place at one time. We are set for a snow adventure while attending a Cinderella Ball on to decide later to lounge around the house outside basking in the sun. It’s out of place and quite overwhelming. Work on sticking to one theme and not incorporating multiple themes at one time.

In many cases, the saying “It’s better to be overdressed than underdress” can be misleading. As a sports fanatic, I had the privilege to attend many sporting events. It’s tragic to watch women dressed up in four-inch heels, a mini skirt that barely covers her treasured goods, going up the stairs to the nosebleed section to watch a football game. This female is caught in a fabulous case of being a dress puss. When a woman steps out the house, they love to look their best. However, if dressed incorrectly for certain events, can give off the wrong impression as being overly made up for a sporting event. If you’re not sitting courtside or have a box seat, its best to go with the flow of the sports theme. I am a girly girl that loves football and basketball. When I attend these games, I dress in the team apparel. Women now have several different places that sell trendy sporting clothing for girly girls.

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I live in Florida and the weather is known for being tropical. Our winter consists of a few days of 60-degree weather which is unbearable for us flamencos. I had this one friend by the name of Joy who wanted to gather the interest of a guy she was crushing on. We were going to meet his friends At a sporting event and Joy wanted to get his attention. She decided to wear the team logo sweatshirt with extremely short shorts “Daisey Dukes.” This particular day happened to be one of those Florida winter days. While we were out, Joy was shivering because she desperately wanted to “Look Cute” for her crush. But instead of getting his attention in a positive note…he only made fun of her for trying too hard when she knew it was uncomfortably cold outside. In the end, she didn’t date her crush and he overlooked her. Ladies, I stress to you…men can smell if you’re trying too hard. Let’s recreate this scenario-Joy attended game with the same sports logo sweatshirt along with skinny jeans that would have shown her curvy figure and assets. She would have been warm-dressed appropriate for the event and looking mighty cute.

Another example of dressing incorrectly, my girlfriend Ashley was going to a wedding. Ashley like Joy faced a cold Florida day. But this day was even colder, it happened to be an evening wedding where the weather dropped to a shocking 33 degrees, burrrrrrrr. Ashley likes so many other typical girly girls already pre-planned her outfit weeks ahead. When she purchased the maxi dress it was during our warmer climate. The night of the wedding it turned into a record cold evening for Florida. She insisted on wearing the maxi dress with sandals even though it was going to be dreadfully cold. During her date, Ashley was uncomfortably cold and shivering during the night. Ohhhh did I mention, it was an outside wedding she attended? Poor Ashley was cold and her date tried to warm her up. She ended up getting a nasty cold right after and was sick for days. Ladies, I must stress to you once again…your health and being comfortable is not worth it for a man. Let’s try this scenario over again. Ashley attended a wedding wearing a sweater dress paired with knee-high boots and tied it all together with a beautiful scarf around her neck. Ohhhh that would have been a fabulously cute and warm outfit. She may or may not had picked up a cold but her teeth would not have been chattering louder than the music.

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In my BMD “Before Married Days”, I enjoyed the club scene.  A particular friend of mine was not accustomed to the club scene and didn’t know what to wear.  She ended up coming to the club looking like the Secretary of State instead of a sexy hip female.  She brought a huge tote bag that could hide a small army and to top it off with sensible stubby heels.  She had a case of the ohhhhhhhh my my my’s.  With the art of caring and coaching, I was able to assist her with how to dress for the club setting.  The next time she wore jeans with a cute flowy Top, wedge heels and a matching clutch bag to tie up the entire outfit beautifully.

All the ladies were being a Dress Puss. I’m a big advocate of dressing appropriately for any gathering and still remaining cute, sexy and fun. During my college partying days, my friends and I attended a fraternity party that was a themed pajama jam. This event allowed people to wear night attire for the party. With that said, it also allowed some women to wear risqué lingerie to the party and it deemed acceptable. While the group of girls I attended party wanted to be part of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, I dressed completely different from the pack. I wore baggy Calvin Klein pajama bottoms with a cut-off top. I was dressed for the theme but stood out from the rest of the ladies. While the men ogled the ladies, I was complimented differently from the other ladies because I didn’t show all my unmentionable lady parts. The men kept coming up to me and complimenting my style. One of the fraternity guys said, “Out of all these girls, I find you to be the sexiest.” That did not garner a warm response from the girls I came with that was trying to be overtly sexy. You see ladies, sometimes it’s going against the grain.

Every setting is different, but as women, we have a long range of stylish clothes to wear for any occasion. All occasions should be done appropriately. If you’re going to the beach, wear beach attire. This shouldn’t be the day to wear that full-length ball gown you been dying to wear. If you’re attending a musical or play, try to dress cocktail savoy and not wear your latest grunge style to this type of event. If you’re going on a date and it depends on place and weather, please go with the appropriate setting and dress for the weather as well. I don’t believe in the statement, “It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.” It’s better to be dressed appropriately at all times because we are typically aware of the places we’re attending.

(The names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals)